The Power of an Apology

As a mom, I find that I am constantly saying to at least one of my children everyday..."you owe (me, him, her, us) an apology".  Which is then quickly followed up with, "now say it like you mean it". And in my house, after an apology is given, a hug must follow.  Some hugs are far more meaningful than others...yet I believe the sign of trusting someone who has hurt you by granting them close proximity to your person to be a true start to accepting an apology.

 An apology is a sign of remorse...of acceptance of hurt feelings...or possibly acknowledging that you made the bruise on a sibling's body. 

There is such strength in a sincere apology.  Throughout the centuries it's been stated that an apology is a sign of weakness--NO WAY!  It takes an incredible display of personal strength of character to say, "I'm sorry.  I did not mean to hurt you or hinder you in any way."  and sometimes, an apology is even followed up with "Forgive me".  The personal integrity one must show to truly mean an apology is where humanity shines brightest.

Giving forgiveness is also a huge gift.  Acknowledging an apology and receiving that gift gives us an opportunity to give the gift of forgiveness in return.  Forgiveness is not disavowing what has taken place; rather, it is the willingness to allow the other person involved to feel acknowledged.  It may also be the thing which allows that individual to move on after hurting you.

Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute reminds us of the binding and blinding philosophy of self-deception.  By not accepting an apology, by not granting/giving forgiveness to the person asking for it, we deny ourselves and continue the patterns of self-deception.

Graciously offer an apology.  In sincerity, offer forgiveness.  In love, accept the forgiveness.

With kindness, seek a peaceful path from that point into the future.
http://www.arbinger.com/en/home.html

The Not so Lazy Days of Summer

The past two weekends I've been learning the Inclusive Mediation Framework used by the Conflict Resolution Center of Baltimore County. Two weeks before that, I spent 5 days (and nights) in Abilene, Texas completing my Residency requirement for my Masters in Conflict Resolution...which taught me a Facilitative model Framework for Mediation.

So, just so you really get my brain melt down...within less than 30 days, I've spent 11 SOLID days of my life training to be a mediator.

Making the decision last fall to return to school at Abilene Christian University (in Abilene, TX--which I am working through their online program) was quite a commitment in itself. I did this thinking I'd like to work in the field of mediation as a mediator...now that my head is full of mediation strategies and systems, I have great doubt as to whether or not I'm cut out for this!

This morning, I'm thinking through all the different things I've learned since January. Negotiation strategies, organizational behavior nuiances, systems designs for conflict management, facilitative mediation model, inclusive mediation model...and on and on and on...

What does it really all mean? Which direction should I go? How should I package myself? Who am I becoming professionally? Great questions...yet I'm dizzy from trying to find the answers.

As a wise, wise woman named Scarlett O'Hara said, "oh well, I'll just think on that tomorrow...for tomorrow is another day!"