What does it mean to be in transition?
The prefix "trans- " signifies across, through or changing thoroughly. The root of the word transition is situation. Situation identifies a place or a combination of circumstances. Repeatedly at 4:00am I am finding my mind working through my present transition.
The year 2012 brought me amazing opportunities. I began the year a Masters degree candidate who had just completed writing her thesis. In January I embarked upon an unpaid internship with the District Court of Maryland's Alternative Dispute Resolution office. This opportunity proved to be more fulfilling than I imagined. I worked on a large research project, met judges, provided opinions and wrote an article for the District Court ADR newsletter which was published. During this internship I also attended a conference in Washington, DC which changed the direction I was pursuing with my new found career--it also helped me decide that I should attend law school. These experiences stretched across the entire year.
My daughter Olivia finished elementary school in June of this year and transitioned into Middle school. 6th grade...one of the most difficult changes we make through adolescence.
June also found a few challenges for me--I finished my last course in my Masters work on June 18th and the following day I had 3.5 hour sinus surgery. This led to the next 2-4 weeks of recovery and down time...ah, how I love down time.
August found my entire family in my home state of Texas. We gathered and drove out to Abilene, TX to attend my Masters' graduation ceremony from Abilene Christian University (ACU). During that trip, I also made campus visits to three law schools around the state...reaffirming my decision that attaining a JD was the next step in my progression.
September began with fervor...three children back to school and I was nose down studying for the LSAT. The LSAT is no fun...it's intentionally written to be tricky and it's given in short 35 minute segments which are intended to add pressure to an already intensive situation. October 2nd I took the exam...and November 2nd I received my score. Ok...but needs to be higher for a slam dunk entry into law school--now I'm faced with taking the exam again. Ugh.
October was filled with law school applications and kids activities.
November was over run with kids activities, Thanksgiving, my 40th birthday and our 15th wedding anniversary. (A pitty we are fairly cash strapped and couldn't celebrate any of those milestones with any sort of large celebration.)
The beginning of December found me trying to recover from my first sinus infection post-surgery. My ENT prescribed 15 days of steroids...something I wouldn't wish on anyone and something I will not be experiencing again.
So here I am, December 19th struggling to relax and go with my "changing thoroughly combination of circumstances" or transition. Just 4 months ago I was given my Masters diploma...and yet I didn't relax and enjoy that accomplishment--I threw myself right back into the next thing. I have accomplished a great amount of things this year, but want to see my acceptance into law school and want to know where I'll be!
I believe 2013 will see my family relocate back to Texas...most likely in Houston or San Antonio...but have no guarantees. I believe I will begin law school in the fall of 2013...but haven't been accepted yet. I believe we will list and sell our home in Maryland in a reasonable amount of time...but have no guarantee to the amount of time or money which will surround that sell and whether or not we will be offered a move package to relocate our family.
I hate to sound like such a control freak--but I'm so out of control with all of these large items, it's hard not to want to control something. For Christmas, I'm trying to give myself the gift of reflection. To be given time to reflect on what one has accomplished and time to decide how best to utilize those accomplishments is my holiday wish for all of us.
Transition...
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Power of an Apology
As a mom, I find that I am constantly saying to at least one of my children everyday..."you owe (me, him, her, us) an apology". Which is then quickly followed up with, "now say it like you mean it". And in my house, after an apology is given, a hug must follow. Some hugs are far more meaningful than others...yet I believe the sign of trusting someone who has hurt you by granting them close proximity to your person to be a true start to accepting an apology.
An apology is a sign of remorse...of acceptance of hurt feelings...or possibly acknowledging that you made the bruise on a sibling's body.
There is such strength in a sincere apology. Throughout the centuries it's been stated that an apology is a sign of weakness--NO WAY! It takes an incredible display of personal strength of character to say, "I'm sorry. I did not mean to hurt you or hinder you in any way." and sometimes, an apology is even followed up with "Forgive me". The personal integrity one must show to truly mean an apology is where humanity shines brightest.
Giving forgiveness is also a huge gift. Acknowledging an apology and receiving that gift gives us an opportunity to give the gift of forgiveness in return. Forgiveness is not disavowing what has taken place; rather, it is the willingness to allow the other person involved to feel acknowledged. It may also be the thing which allows that individual to move on after hurting you.
Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute reminds us of the binding and blinding philosophy of self-deception. By not accepting an apology, by not granting/giving forgiveness to the person asking for it, we deny ourselves and continue the patterns of self-deception.
Graciously offer an apology. In sincerity, offer forgiveness. In love, accept the forgiveness.
With kindness, seek a peaceful path from that point into the future.
http://www.arbinger.com/en/home.html
An apology is a sign of remorse...of acceptance of hurt feelings...or possibly acknowledging that you made the bruise on a sibling's body.
There is such strength in a sincere apology. Throughout the centuries it's been stated that an apology is a sign of weakness--NO WAY! It takes an incredible display of personal strength of character to say, "I'm sorry. I did not mean to hurt you or hinder you in any way." and sometimes, an apology is even followed up with "Forgive me". The personal integrity one must show to truly mean an apology is where humanity shines brightest.
Giving forgiveness is also a huge gift. Acknowledging an apology and receiving that gift gives us an opportunity to give the gift of forgiveness in return. Forgiveness is not disavowing what has taken place; rather, it is the willingness to allow the other person involved to feel acknowledged. It may also be the thing which allows that individual to move on after hurting you.
Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute reminds us of the binding and blinding philosophy of self-deception. By not accepting an apology, by not granting/giving forgiveness to the person asking for it, we deny ourselves and continue the patterns of self-deception.
Graciously offer an apology. In sincerity, offer forgiveness. In love, accept the forgiveness.
With kindness, seek a peaceful path from that point into the future.
http://www.arbinger.com/en/home.html
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Not so Lazy Days of Summer
The past two weekends I've been learning the Inclusive Mediation Framework used by the Conflict Resolution Center of Baltimore County. Two weeks before that, I spent 5 days (and nights) in Abilene, Texas completing my Residency requirement for my Masters in Conflict Resolution...which taught me a Facilitative model Framework for Mediation.
So, just so you really get my brain melt down...within less than 30 days, I've spent 11 SOLID days of my life training to be a mediator.
Making the decision last fall to return to school at Abilene Christian University (in Abilene, TX--which I am working through their online program) was quite a commitment in itself. I did this thinking I'd like to work in the field of mediation as a mediator...now that my head is full of mediation strategies and systems, I have great doubt as to whether or not I'm cut out for this!
This morning, I'm thinking through all the different things I've learned since January. Negotiation strategies, organizational behavior nuiances, systems designs for conflict management, facilitative mediation model, inclusive mediation model...and on and on and on...
What does it really all mean? Which direction should I go? How should I package myself? Who am I becoming professionally? Great questions...yet I'm dizzy from trying to find the answers.
As a wise, wise woman named Scarlett O'Hara said, "oh well, I'll just think on that tomorrow...for tomorrow is another day!"
So, just so you really get my brain melt down...within less than 30 days, I've spent 11 SOLID days of my life training to be a mediator.
Making the decision last fall to return to school at Abilene Christian University (in Abilene, TX--which I am working through their online program) was quite a commitment in itself. I did this thinking I'd like to work in the field of mediation as a mediator...now that my head is full of mediation strategies and systems, I have great doubt as to whether or not I'm cut out for this!
This morning, I'm thinking through all the different things I've learned since January. Negotiation strategies, organizational behavior nuiances, systems designs for conflict management, facilitative mediation model, inclusive mediation model...and on and on and on...
What does it really all mean? Which direction should I go? How should I package myself? Who am I becoming professionally? Great questions...yet I'm dizzy from trying to find the answers.
As a wise, wise woman named Scarlett O'Hara said, "oh well, I'll just think on that tomorrow...for tomorrow is another day!"
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Bathtubs
I know this sounds a little silly, and maybe petty...but I NEED a bathtub.
When we moved to this house six months ago, the master bedroom had 2 bathrooms within the suite. Seriously, two. One was not much more than a closet which held a potty, sink, and a teensy shower which would make anyone claustrophobic...much less fit my six foot five husband. The other, had a long vanity top area, then a separate "closed door" area with along skinny shower, a potty and a bidet. Yes...this bedroom had a bidet...but NOT A BATHTUB. Who lives like that!!!???
My husband loved this house from the first moment he walked into it...what I saw, lots and lots of updating work. Anyone want to guess who's doing the updating work??? That's what I thought. So I told him from the get go...we can only buy this house if you let me close off the small bathroom and build a walk in closet. No if's and's or but's about it. And, yes, my closet was completed in January.
Now...the dilemma is to finish out the vanity/bidet bathroom to be a true Master Bathroom. All it takes is Money...so if you don't have $50,000 to throw at a project, and I don't , I have to design and plan then execute on a new bathroom.
My biggest lesson so far--I had no idea how expensive bathtubs are! Also, all those really snazzy shower elements ain't cheap. So for now, I have my pieces and parts picked out, the cabinets ordered, and I'm waiting to hear from my contractor what the labor quote will be. Based on his numbers, I can decide what plumbing parts I can and maybe cannot buy...also, if I can get the incredible limestone tile I've picked out or not...and I really hope I don't have to trade that out! But, oh well. The one thing I'm not giving up on...my bathtub. I can't wait to soak in that baby. I don't take a bath every night. But, when you want to soak in a tub, nothing else can fill that need.
Soooon. Soooon. Soooon I will be soaking in that bad boy in the photo...sooooooon.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Spring has finally sprung!
Here in Maryland, it's sunny, blue skies, and green grass. Granted, the high temprature is 65 degrees today...and I am ready for 75 degrees, but there is nothing here to complain about.
Spring is a time of renewal. Out with the old, in with the new. It's a time when nature "re-invents" itself. This year, I'm planning to take a page out of natures' best play book. I want to find myself renewed. Faith--home--family--getting back to basics and putting all of the months of SNOW and cold behind me.
Refreshing and remembering what is most important to me. Friends, new and old. Family, near and far. Faith, tried and true.
Welcome back Spring...and welcome back me.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Finish What you Start
This weekend was fairly hard core for me. By Friday night, I was really tired from the week. I had filled almost every hour with somewhere to be or something to do, and I was beat. However, two weeks before, I started a tiling project which needed to be finished.
With that in mind, I got up Saturday morning and started trying to wrap my brain around the task at hand. Armed with coffee, a tape measure and chalk line--I set about making a plan. Tiling can be an easy or a difficult task, mostly due to the amount of time you're willing to spend in the planning stage. I chose slate as my medium--which, yes, is more difficult to work with than ceramic...I know that--and did the research.
I wonder how many things we attempt in life would be easier if we could do the research before hand. Would we all chose the same person to marry if we knew what was coming down the road? Could we succeed at any number of things we try if only we had all the information before we start?
Life, unlike tiling, doesn't come with instructions.
There are no Youtube videos to help us find our way through parenting decisions, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or why we should choose one job over another. To lay a tile floor, you need specific products and tools: a wet saw, thin set, notched trowel, tile, grout and grout float. In life, you need different tools and different products at different times.
At the birth of a child, a person takes stock in the immediate safety of that baby. Do they have their needs and wants provided for? During the teenage years, parents wonder why they ever thought they could BE parents. The rules change daily--with the mood swings--and its difficult to know what to do next. As we age, again we need different tools. Am I healthy? Will my body fall into cancer or another illness? Will my children care for me if I cannot care for myself?
My tile floor is down. It took most of Saturday to do it, but it's almost finished. Today I need to grout the seams, then seal the floor with a slate specific sealer. After that, it's quarter round and I'm done.
Like it or not, Life doesn't work in straight lines with clear cut directions. We're going to have to wake up again tomorrow and see what's new, what's changed, and what might still be the same. I love it! The challenges each stage in life brings. But then again, I don't mind laying a slate tile floor...It Always Pays to Finish What you Started...
With that in mind, I got up Saturday morning and started trying to wrap my brain around the task at hand. Armed with coffee, a tape measure and chalk line--I set about making a plan. Tiling can be an easy or a difficult task, mostly due to the amount of time you're willing to spend in the planning stage. I chose slate as my medium--which, yes, is more difficult to work with than ceramic...I know that--and did the research.
I wonder how many things we attempt in life would be easier if we could do the research before hand. Would we all chose the same person to marry if we knew what was coming down the road? Could we succeed at any number of things we try if only we had all the information before we start?
Life, unlike tiling, doesn't come with instructions.
There are no Youtube videos to help us find our way through parenting decisions, dealing with the loss of a loved one, or why we should choose one job over another. To lay a tile floor, you need specific products and tools: a wet saw, thin set, notched trowel, tile, grout and grout float. In life, you need different tools and different products at different times.
At the birth of a child, a person takes stock in the immediate safety of that baby. Do they have their needs and wants provided for? During the teenage years, parents wonder why they ever thought they could BE parents. The rules change daily--with the mood swings--and its difficult to know what to do next. As we age, again we need different tools. Am I healthy? Will my body fall into cancer or another illness? Will my children care for me if I cannot care for myself?
My tile floor is down. It took most of Saturday to do it, but it's almost finished. Today I need to grout the seams, then seal the floor with a slate specific sealer. After that, it's quarter round and I'm done.
Like it or not, Life doesn't work in straight lines with clear cut directions. We're going to have to wake up again tomorrow and see what's new, what's changed, and what might still be the same. I love it! The challenges each stage in life brings. But then again, I don't mind laying a slate tile floor...It Always Pays to Finish What you Started...
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Texas, our Texas...
If I say..."you may all go to Hell, as for me, I will go to Texas" who would know who said it?
I don't know if I want everyone to go to Hell...but I had a GREAT time visiting my home state. Janice was a divine host as always--and meeting a few of her friends was a good time as well.
I ate steak, pizza (I know, that was weird for me too), CHILI, Nordie's cafe, and Tex Mex. Never did get any BBQ...which is a heart breaker, but we were on the go!
Saw my precious Matt...and met some of his friends at UTD. Of course, he didn't warn them that I'm much younger than their moms, so they were completely freaked out at first, but they got over it. Oh well...I hope I never look my own age, much less older than I am right now!
Going back to Texas always brings up old memories. Some great, some embarrassing, and some which will not be named-ever (and to my friends who know where we burried the bodies, better keep that to yourselves!). Letting myself wander around in the past isn't always a good idea--and wondering where things could go from here isn't helping.
What is it about our personal histories? Is it the happiness that we remember most? Is it the heartaches? Do we hold on to what we need to remember to keep from making the same mistakes again? Or is it that we try really hard to forget the past because some of it hurts too much? Should the past always be just that--past. I know that my history is what defines me. It's why I'm not a push over, why I never settle for 2nd best, and why I never let a man believe he's completely in charge. No regrets for what I've done...just some questions about things I might have done differently. I know how the saying goes, "hind sight is 20/20". But for me, rarely has any decision truly felt a clear 20/20. I guess that's because I really like to have my cake and eat it too. The past makes me remember being a girl...but I know she's not the woman I am today. And I like her, the wild woman in heels, a whole lot better.
So for me, is it finally time to buy my piece of the promised land? Should I look for where I plan to settle and start the commitment? City or Country? Hill Country or right back to the Brazos River Bottom I called home? I've always said CJ-7 and 25 acres sounded like just the ticket...but who knows. What I see in my dream is a dirt road, horses, limestone house, and quiet. Thank God you can still find that in TEXAS.
I have lived in Georgia...and Maryland...but today...
Today I have Texas on my mind...
(And by the way, Davy Crockett said the above quote--just in case y'all didn't know!)
I don't know if I want everyone to go to Hell...but I had a GREAT time visiting my home state. Janice was a divine host as always--and meeting a few of her friends was a good time as well.
I ate steak, pizza (I know, that was weird for me too), CHILI, Nordie's cafe, and Tex Mex. Never did get any BBQ...which is a heart breaker, but we were on the go!
Saw my precious Matt...and met some of his friends at UTD. Of course, he didn't warn them that I'm much younger than their moms, so they were completely freaked out at first, but they got over it. Oh well...I hope I never look my own age, much less older than I am right now!
Going back to Texas always brings up old memories. Some great, some embarrassing, and some which will not be named-ever (and to my friends who know where we burried the bodies, better keep that to yourselves!). Letting myself wander around in the past isn't always a good idea--and wondering where things could go from here isn't helping.
What is it about our personal histories? Is it the happiness that we remember most? Is it the heartaches? Do we hold on to what we need to remember to keep from making the same mistakes again? Or is it that we try really hard to forget the past because some of it hurts too much? Should the past always be just that--past. I know that my history is what defines me. It's why I'm not a push over, why I never settle for 2nd best, and why I never let a man believe he's completely in charge. No regrets for what I've done...just some questions about things I might have done differently. I know how the saying goes, "hind sight is 20/20". But for me, rarely has any decision truly felt a clear 20/20. I guess that's because I really like to have my cake and eat it too. The past makes me remember being a girl...but I know she's not the woman I am today. And I like her, the wild woman in heels, a whole lot better.
So for me, is it finally time to buy my piece of the promised land? Should I look for where I plan to settle and start the commitment? City or Country? Hill Country or right back to the Brazos River Bottom I called home? I've always said CJ-7 and 25 acres sounded like just the ticket...but who knows. What I see in my dream is a dirt road, horses, limestone house, and quiet. Thank God you can still find that in TEXAS.
I have lived in Georgia...and Maryland...but today...
Today I have Texas on my mind...
(And by the way, Davy Crockett said the above quote--just in case y'all didn't know!)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Renovations are hard work...
I don't know about you, but when I set about to work on a project--I have a hard time stopping until I see at least a little bit of it come together. For instance, this weekend, the DH and I decided to demo the tile in our front foyer--ok, I decided and DH knew he had to help. We (I) thought the demo would take about half a day, we'd prep the floor, and be cutting tiles to lay Sunday morning. I'm guessing you know what I'm about to say next...
As soon as we started trying to get the tile up we knew something was wrong. I mean, this stuff wasn't budging. We rented a professional, air power driven tile chiseler, and all it did was pulverize the stuff. In the end, we ended up getting further smacking the tile with a hammer. What we came to realize was that the tiles had been laid with some sort of "super glue" which wasn't about to budge!
The next piece of the project was to pull up the tile's foundation bed--which was plywood over the sub-floor. Plywood is not the correct material anymore--now we all use backer board, but this house is over 30 years old, and there's no way to know how long that tile's been down. So plywood, here we come. Except that, did I mention, the plywood was nailed to the sub floor EVERY TWO TO THREE INCHES APART. I have done some demo in my time, but this was the worst. Every nail had to be pried up...and did I mention the super glue that was still ON the plywood COVERING most of the nails??? Yikes!
We did demo ALL day Saturday, and until 3 pm on Sunday. By 8:30 Sunday night I had all of the backer board cut, fit, and on the floor--but Steve nor I had any energy left to screw through the concrete board into the sub floor.
So here we are, 2 days after we thought we'd at least have the tiles down...maybe not grouted, but down...with nothing but backer board on the floor. I'm starting to wonder when I'll ever have the guts to finish this!
Did I mention it's only 210 square feet?
As soon as we started trying to get the tile up we knew something was wrong. I mean, this stuff wasn't budging. We rented a professional, air power driven tile chiseler, and all it did was pulverize the stuff. In the end, we ended up getting further smacking the tile with a hammer. What we came to realize was that the tiles had been laid with some sort of "super glue" which wasn't about to budge!
The next piece of the project was to pull up the tile's foundation bed--which was plywood over the sub-floor. Plywood is not the correct material anymore--now we all use backer board, but this house is over 30 years old, and there's no way to know how long that tile's been down. So plywood, here we come. Except that, did I mention, the plywood was nailed to the sub floor EVERY TWO TO THREE INCHES APART. I have done some demo in my time, but this was the worst. Every nail had to be pried up...and did I mention the super glue that was still ON the plywood COVERING most of the nails??? Yikes!
We did demo ALL day Saturday, and until 3 pm on Sunday. By 8:30 Sunday night I had all of the backer board cut, fit, and on the floor--but Steve nor I had any energy left to screw through the concrete board into the sub floor.
So here we are, 2 days after we thought we'd at least have the tiles down...maybe not grouted, but down...with nothing but backer board on the floor. I'm starting to wonder when I'll ever have the guts to finish this!
Did I mention it's only 210 square feet?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Maryland...it's starting to feel like Planet Hoth
Ok, so I've been a bad girl and not kept up with the blog. I will do better...but since I last wrote 3/09, we have sold our home in Alpharetta (yes, we sold in a bad market...yea me.) we put Lone Star Cabin into a rental program (www.escapetoblueridge.com), and moved our wagon full of kids off to Glen Arm, Maryland.
And so far...I have really loved the people I've met here.
HOWEVER...
The weather has been horrendous. In under 3 months of living here it has snowed over 80 inches!!! All of my new friends and neighbors here keep telling me, "you know, this is just not normal for Maryland". Really? Really? Far as I can tell, normal is what each person experiences for themselves...and if this is my "normal" winter for Maryland...boys and girls, I can promise you I won't be experiencing too many more of them!
First, Second, and Last I am a Texan. My heart flutters a little every time I see the Lone Star state flag. I believe chili is good ANY time of the year. Shiner Bock Beer is truly proof that "God loves us and wants us to be happy" (stolen from Ben Franklin).
And so far...I have really loved the people I've met here.
HOWEVER...
The weather has been horrendous. In under 3 months of living here it has snowed over 80 inches!!! All of my new friends and neighbors here keep telling me, "you know, this is just not normal for Maryland". Really? Really? Far as I can tell, normal is what each person experiences for themselves...and if this is my "normal" winter for Maryland...boys and girls, I can promise you I won't be experiencing too many more of them!
First, Second, and Last I am a Texan. My heart flutters a little every time I see the Lone Star state flag. I believe chili is good ANY time of the year. Shiner Bock Beer is truly proof that "God loves us and wants us to be happy" (stolen from Ben Franklin).
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Well kids...being sick sucks. Sorry I fell off the face of the earth for about 2.5 months...but I literally wanted to die, so falling off the face of the earth will have to do for now.
Enough about that. I want to talk about spring break and beach trips. As a resident of the debtor colony of GA (oh, did I say *that*?) I have taken the trip South to visit Florida on spring break like so many others. Just look around the town I reside in--Alpharetta--and you will notice a great vacancy as most folks went South or East (South Carolina for those of you who didn't pay attention in the two week course on geography the American government has deemed acceptable).
Unfortunately for our dear friends the Dunbars, we accepted their offer of a few days of sun and beach play during the spring break vacay. And if you check facebook...you and the rest of the world can see how we brought the cold weather down to Florida. Ok, so we didn't like pack it a suitcase or anything--but it does seem that the weather temp dropped dramatically after we arrived.
So what does that say about us? Are we the wet blanket everyone invites to the party but secretly hopes doesn't show up? Are we the curse for spring break? Oh no...beware the Nashes they bring bad tiding and doom....?
Nah...we just have some lousy luck when it comes to spring break and the beach. Four years ago we went to the beach over spring breaks with some other friends and froze our butts off too! (Anyone else noticing a trend here?) I say Nay-sayers be damned, we're not cursed...we're not I say. Tomorrow is another day (sorry for the plagerism on that one, but I HAD to go there).
So bring on the margaritas and flip-flops...it's only 51 degrees at 11 am...but I have faith a better day is coming. Or at least that's the ltitle lie I'm planning to tell myself today. Enough of this typing, I'm going outside to get a nice wind burn, which I plan to tell EVERYone is a lovely sun burn.
Enough about that. I want to talk about spring break and beach trips. As a resident of the debtor colony of GA (oh, did I say *that*?) I have taken the trip South to visit Florida on spring break like so many others. Just look around the town I reside in--Alpharetta--and you will notice a great vacancy as most folks went South or East (South Carolina for those of you who didn't pay attention in the two week course on geography the American government has deemed acceptable).
Unfortunately for our dear friends the Dunbars, we accepted their offer of a few days of sun and beach play during the spring break vacay. And if you check facebook...you and the rest of the world can see how we brought the cold weather down to Florida. Ok, so we didn't like pack it a suitcase or anything--but it does seem that the weather temp dropped dramatically after we arrived.
So what does that say about us? Are we the wet blanket everyone invites to the party but secretly hopes doesn't show up? Are we the curse for spring break? Oh no...beware the Nashes they bring bad tiding and doom....?
Nah...we just have some lousy luck when it comes to spring break and the beach. Four years ago we went to the beach over spring breaks with some other friends and froze our butts off too! (Anyone else noticing a trend here?) I say Nay-sayers be damned, we're not cursed...we're not I say. Tomorrow is another day (sorry for the plagerism on that one, but I HAD to go there).
So bring on the margaritas and flip-flops...it's only 51 degrees at 11 am...but I have faith a better day is coming. Or at least that's the ltitle lie I'm planning to tell myself today. Enough of this typing, I'm going outside to get a nice wind burn, which I plan to tell EVERYone is a lovely sun burn.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Am I teachable?
In church yesterday, yes--the Diva attends church, the sermon's point was "are you teachable"? It's left me thinking about just that...am I teachable? Do I accept new information and learn and grow from it?
As a 36 year-old somewhat know-it-all type...it's a difficult question to ask. On one hand, I really enjoy listening to other ideas and consider myself to be a "student of people". (Notice I did NOT say I was a people-person...because I've found that folks who refer to themselves as a people-person are just annoying and the rest of us 'people' have no interest in them!) I don't know that I change my opinion very often. You know the old expression, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression". For me, that seems to apply to concepts/ideas as well as people.
Now I'm not saying I'm completely incapable of changing my opinion...but it doesn't happen very often. So does that make me unteachable? Do I let my first impressions out-weigh evidence or fact? I'd like to think not, but I'm definitely wondering.
Are there situations which demand we go by gut, and ignore the facts? How about the times when there are no facts to help us make decisions? Anyone else put cash into the stock market in March 2008?
I believe I'm teachable--but probably only to a point. Which may be a sad, sad statement. If you're overly "teachable" does that make you gullible? Would someone say you're "easily led". I hope not. I hope I can be more teachable now after thinking about this topic. After all, where would any of us be if our first impressions were the only thing we had going for us!
As a 36 year-old somewhat know-it-all type...it's a difficult question to ask. On one hand, I really enjoy listening to other ideas and consider myself to be a "student of people". (Notice I did NOT say I was a people-person...because I've found that folks who refer to themselves as a people-person are just annoying and the rest of us 'people' have no interest in them!) I don't know that I change my opinion very often. You know the old expression, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression". For me, that seems to apply to concepts/ideas as well as people.
Now I'm not saying I'm completely incapable of changing my opinion...but it doesn't happen very often. So does that make me unteachable? Do I let my first impressions out-weigh evidence or fact? I'd like to think not, but I'm definitely wondering.
Are there situations which demand we go by gut, and ignore the facts? How about the times when there are no facts to help us make decisions? Anyone else put cash into the stock market in March 2008?
I believe I'm teachable--but probably only to a point. Which may be a sad, sad statement. If you're overly "teachable" does that make you gullible? Would someone say you're "easily led". I hope not. I hope I can be more teachable now after thinking about this topic. After all, where would any of us be if our first impressions were the only thing we had going for us!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The truth about men and women
Alright, men and women...two things that are meant to go together--LITERALLY. However! The differences between men and women are astounding.
Women--very competitive with one another, overly concerned with their appearances, detail oriented, group focused, need to be heard, need to feel safe and a need to be loved. (never sure what gals mean by that last one, but ok, loved)
Men--need to be fed, well sexed, and supported. THAT'S IT.
Seriously, the male species is so much easier to understand. For all the bravado...they greatly need to feel that they're doing a good job. They need to know that people believe in them. If they're well fed in mind and body and, let's face it, in the bedroom; the world will always seem right for them.
God bless them. When little boys argue with other little boys, they duke it out until they get tired--then get up and go back to playing with one another. Boys so rarely hold grudges or "never" want to play with so-and-so again.
Little girls on the other hand...they're looking for cues from each other early on as to who they're going to be friends with and who they're not. They are sizing each other's clothes up by 2nd grade! They get into arguments and try to split up friends by who sides with whom.
Think I'm crazy? Look around. If you're a woman, how many times have you felt torn by someone else's argument? Felt that you had to choose "sides". How many times have you let a situation upset your dinner or weekend because you're replaying the situation over and over wanting to figure out how to make it better (or how to find revenge).
Ladies, we could learn a lot from the males in our lives. Team sports have helped little girls, but we must carry through...stop tearing each other down and let's have disagreements without whiplash--without payback--without stress.
We could learn a lot from being well fed, well sexed and supported by those around us.
How different would your life be if those 3 things were the personal priorities in your life? Not the kids' bake sale at school. Not the volunteer activity you felt you HAD to sign up for. Not the neighborhood activity you really didn't want to participate in but felt you'd be talked about if you didn't attend.
Life could be easier if we supported each other ladies. If we met each other right where we each were...and accepted not judged.
Now hear me when I say--I don't think men have all the answers! Far from it. Men struggle in their own ways. But it doesn't hurt to examine how they tend to function vs. how we women do.
Women--very competitive with one another, overly concerned with their appearances, detail oriented, group focused, need to be heard, need to feel safe and a need to be loved. (never sure what gals mean by that last one, but ok, loved)
Men--need to be fed, well sexed, and supported. THAT'S IT.
Seriously, the male species is so much easier to understand. For all the bravado...they greatly need to feel that they're doing a good job. They need to know that people believe in them. If they're well fed in mind and body and, let's face it, in the bedroom; the world will always seem right for them.
God bless them. When little boys argue with other little boys, they duke it out until they get tired--then get up and go back to playing with one another. Boys so rarely hold grudges or "never" want to play with so-and-so again.
Little girls on the other hand...they're looking for cues from each other early on as to who they're going to be friends with and who they're not. They are sizing each other's clothes up by 2nd grade! They get into arguments and try to split up friends by who sides with whom.
Think I'm crazy? Look around. If you're a woman, how many times have you felt torn by someone else's argument? Felt that you had to choose "sides". How many times have you let a situation upset your dinner or weekend because you're replaying the situation over and over wanting to figure out how to make it better (or how to find revenge).
Ladies, we could learn a lot from the males in our lives. Team sports have helped little girls, but we must carry through...stop tearing each other down and let's have disagreements without whiplash--without payback--without stress.
We could learn a lot from being well fed, well sexed and supported by those around us.
How different would your life be if those 3 things were the personal priorities in your life? Not the kids' bake sale at school. Not the volunteer activity you felt you HAD to sign up for. Not the neighborhood activity you really didn't want to participate in but felt you'd be talked about if you didn't attend.
Life could be easier if we supported each other ladies. If we met each other right where we each were...and accepted not judged.
Now hear me when I say--I don't think men have all the answers! Far from it. Men struggle in their own ways. But it doesn't hurt to examine how they tend to function vs. how we women do.
Monday, January 5, 2009
A New Year once again...
2009 is now upon us...which means for me, more birthdays, a high school graduation in May and yet another potential for a move.
For 8 years previous, OK, so let's say 5 years, I've been working on a come and go basis about committing to where I am and being loose enough to move when the man says go. And once again, we sit at the verge of a move with nothing substantial from the company. How many times have I found myself in this place? Without exaggeration, I really do believe at least 6 times.
How does one live day to day in one area whilst trying to be prepared to pack it all up and move to another?
Military families are the super royalty at this type of thing. Some of those kids see 3 different schools in one calendar year! But at the same time, if attending school on base, they're all in the same boat. And somehow I'm betting, when someone says,hey we could really use you in this role...it doesn't take 6-9 months of walking around a situation and reorganizing the company before action is taken. I'm guessing it's far less painful to just get the orders and go. Kinda like pulling off a band aid; better to just do it and not drag it out.
So what do I have to offer as in an interesting anecdote? Nothing. I find nothing about living in limbo amusing. And no, it's not comforting to know that many many others are going through the exact same thing. Frustrating. Exhausting. Anxiety causing.
Maybe worst of all, I really wonder if I won't be living in the same spot saying the exact same thing when 2010 arrives.
For 8 years previous, OK, so let's say 5 years, I've been working on a come and go basis about committing to where I am and being loose enough to move when the man says go. And once again, we sit at the verge of a move with nothing substantial from the company. How many times have I found myself in this place? Without exaggeration, I really do believe at least 6 times.
How does one live day to day in one area whilst trying to be prepared to pack it all up and move to another?
Military families are the super royalty at this type of thing. Some of those kids see 3 different schools in one calendar year! But at the same time, if attending school on base, they're all in the same boat. And somehow I'm betting, when someone says,hey we could really use you in this role...it doesn't take 6-9 months of walking around a situation and reorganizing the company before action is taken. I'm guessing it's far less painful to just get the orders and go. Kinda like pulling off a band aid; better to just do it and not drag it out.
So what do I have to offer as in an interesting anecdote? Nothing. I find nothing about living in limbo amusing. And no, it's not comforting to know that many many others are going through the exact same thing. Frustrating. Exhausting. Anxiety causing.
Maybe worst of all, I really wonder if I won't be living in the same spot saying the exact same thing when 2010 arrives.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Everything's up in the Air
Everything's up in the air...is kind of a strange expression if you really think about it. Nothing stays up in the air...other than clouds...yet we think dealing with unknowns is like being among the clouds--although that seems unfair to the clouds!
My life, ladies and gentlemen, has been resting with the clouds for a month now. Some of that is of my own making and some of that is out of my control. We sit at the cusp of a move. Moving was kind of fun in your 20s when you didn't own very much stuff, called a few friends, rented a truck for the afternoon and made it happen. Moving for me now? Urgh!
This move would be a relocation 1000 miles away. To Austin, TX which I've always considered to be my "home base". A city I adore filled with places I love to go, food I love to eat, and people I enjoy seeing. For me and my husband, it would/will be fantastic. The three munchkins-well that's a whole 'nother enchalada!
I have O in 2nd grade, so that means changing schools after school has started...I have S in a pre-k program which is what kindergarten was for me and I know I won't be able to find that again in Austin...and I have JH who is in a Mothers Morning Out program 3 mornings a week...and finding an opening with something like that is sometimes like asking the mountain to come to Mohammad!
It's interesting to me that as we sit on the edge of one of the most important political votes in US history, I could care less. I know who I will vote for, but am so inwardly focused, I don't seem to care who anyone else votes for!
I'm guessing up in the air means eventually we believe whatever's up there has to obey gravity and come down to earth. There's no way to see how the "cards will fall" (another phrase which calls to mind the air). I'm just hoping they decide to fall soon.
My life, ladies and gentlemen, has been resting with the clouds for a month now. Some of that is of my own making and some of that is out of my control. We sit at the cusp of a move. Moving was kind of fun in your 20s when you didn't own very much stuff, called a few friends, rented a truck for the afternoon and made it happen. Moving for me now? Urgh!
This move would be a relocation 1000 miles away. To Austin, TX which I've always considered to be my "home base". A city I adore filled with places I love to go, food I love to eat, and people I enjoy seeing. For me and my husband, it would/will be fantastic. The three munchkins-well that's a whole 'nother enchalada!
I have O in 2nd grade, so that means changing schools after school has started...I have S in a pre-k program which is what kindergarten was for me and I know I won't be able to find that again in Austin...and I have JH who is in a Mothers Morning Out program 3 mornings a week...and finding an opening with something like that is sometimes like asking the mountain to come to Mohammad!
It's interesting to me that as we sit on the edge of one of the most important political votes in US history, I could care less. I know who I will vote for, but am so inwardly focused, I don't seem to care who anyone else votes for!
I'm guessing up in the air means eventually we believe whatever's up there has to obey gravity and come down to earth. There's no way to see how the "cards will fall" (another phrase which calls to mind the air). I'm just hoping they decide to fall soon.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Motion...
This summer will be one for the ages...I've got too many commitments and too many trips!
The first trip, a Mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, was last week. We took 25 Sr. high teenagers into one of the worst reputed border towns. They built two houses--which by American standards were nothing more than mere garden shacks. The kiddos also led Vacation Bible School for the kids of Colonia 30, which I guess is a neighborhood--or maybe it's more compreable to the 'wards' in large urban areas. Some of us came back wind burned, sun burned, and I've got a questionable rash on my bum! Other than that, no intestinal funk--thank you God--and the food was AWEsome. Yumm yumm. We got home around 5 o'clock Saturday...just in time to pack for the next trip.
Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we leave for San Antonio, Tx. I know, I know, I was just so close being in El Paso--BUT...I had to come home to GA so I could drive my precious darling children 16 hours back. I'll be there at my parents until Sunday when I fly back to the East coast to "chaparone" and Senior trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. This trip I am looking forward to. 10 kids who really are nice kids--not crazy party kids, and all I have to do is help out if insurance is needed. Seriously, I see my sleeping late and reading several books on the beach. The only way it could get better is if Steve could come out for a day or two--but this is his heaviest work time.
The following Saturday I fly back to San Antonio to my parents and my kids! Steve flies out 7/2 and my dad leaves for London 7/3. Steve's family is having a family reunion 7/4 and then Steve's mom's birthday is 7/5! We'll pick up my oldest son Matt on 7/6 at some point and head north to Canton, TX to do 1st Monday trade days. One of the cooooolest flea market/antique/junk stops you've ever seen. Last summer I saw a porch swing which I'm going back to get for my cabin--strapping to the top of my truck? We'll see.
Home to GA around 7/8 or 9 depending on how well we get through our crazy weekend.
Then the fun's just beginning. Olivia has dance company summer camp, my cousin Jordan is flying out for a visit, Matt and I are going on a white water rafting weekend...and then hopefully we'll get a few days of rest in before we slide into the first day of school 8/11.
Summer, we have no summer. We have motion this year. Not that I'm complaining...because we're going to do some really great things. Mexico was a wonderful trip, and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with all of our other plans. I just need a little rest somewhere along the way!!!
: )
The first trip, a Mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, was last week. We took 25 Sr. high teenagers into one of the worst reputed border towns. They built two houses--which by American standards were nothing more than mere garden shacks. The kiddos also led Vacation Bible School for the kids of Colonia 30, which I guess is a neighborhood--or maybe it's more compreable to the 'wards' in large urban areas. Some of us came back wind burned, sun burned, and I've got a questionable rash on my bum! Other than that, no intestinal funk--thank you God--and the food was AWEsome. Yumm yumm. We got home around 5 o'clock Saturday...just in time to pack for the next trip.
Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we leave for San Antonio, Tx. I know, I know, I was just so close being in El Paso--BUT...I had to come home to GA so I could drive my precious darling children 16 hours back. I'll be there at my parents until Sunday when I fly back to the East coast to "chaparone" and Senior trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. This trip I am looking forward to. 10 kids who really are nice kids--not crazy party kids, and all I have to do is help out if insurance is needed. Seriously, I see my sleeping late and reading several books on the beach. The only way it could get better is if Steve could come out for a day or two--but this is his heaviest work time.
The following Saturday I fly back to San Antonio to my parents and my kids! Steve flies out 7/2 and my dad leaves for London 7/3. Steve's family is having a family reunion 7/4 and then Steve's mom's birthday is 7/5! We'll pick up my oldest son Matt on 7/6 at some point and head north to Canton, TX to do 1st Monday trade days. One of the cooooolest flea market/antique/junk stops you've ever seen. Last summer I saw a porch swing which I'm going back to get for my cabin--strapping to the top of my truck? We'll see.
Home to GA around 7/8 or 9 depending on how well we get through our crazy weekend.
Then the fun's just beginning. Olivia has dance company summer camp, my cousin Jordan is flying out for a visit, Matt and I are going on a white water rafting weekend...and then hopefully we'll get a few days of rest in before we slide into the first day of school 8/11.
Summer, we have no summer. We have motion this year. Not that I'm complaining...because we're going to do some really great things. Mexico was a wonderful trip, and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with all of our other plans. I just need a little rest somewhere along the way!!!
: )
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A Time of Transition
Here I sit at the beginning of June wondering where May went. Honestly...we've been full steam ahead so long I'm not sure what rest would feel like?!
Transition. I guess its a word I haven't thought about very often. Maybe we're in a constant state of it but too busy to notice. Or possibly, its only in times of extreme change that we truly feel its expression.
My oldest child, Matt is now a Senior in high school. This August he'll turn 18 years old and vote in the upcoming Presidential election. Oh my but the time has flown. My 2nd child, Olivia is now a 2nd grader...and I keep thinking she's still in Kinder garden. My #3 & #4 the pair of wild boys--well they never cease to amaze me with the crazy antics they think up. I am starting to wonder if they really will be the death of me...?
In May, my 'adopted' son Rusty graduated from High School. In a few months he'll be out of here and off to college, which is great! but it's also strange to think I won't see very much of him. He's been such a blessing to me and my family the last few years--I know we're all going to miss seeing him around.
Elsa, our baby Great Dane is most of time time a great pain in the butt. This dog has a great love of people food which is a HUGE problem with a Giant Breed dog! There's no where to keep food from her. Today she ate my spicy tuna rolls off the kitchen counter when I went upstairs to have a phone conversation. She's right this moment looking for the next "snack" she can devour. Maybe she was a mistake...but nonetheless here she is.
Transition. Time. Two words I rarely take a moment to contemplate. They're both all around us, and yet--how often to we give time or transition the respect they deserve?
Transition. I guess its a word I haven't thought about very often. Maybe we're in a constant state of it but too busy to notice. Or possibly, its only in times of extreme change that we truly feel its expression.
My oldest child, Matt is now a Senior in high school. This August he'll turn 18 years old and vote in the upcoming Presidential election. Oh my but the time has flown. My 2nd child, Olivia is now a 2nd grader...and I keep thinking she's still in Kinder garden. My #3 & #4 the pair of wild boys--well they never cease to amaze me with the crazy antics they think up. I am starting to wonder if they really will be the death of me...?
In May, my 'adopted' son Rusty graduated from High School. In a few months he'll be out of here and off to college, which is great! but it's also strange to think I won't see very much of him. He's been such a blessing to me and my family the last few years--I know we're all going to miss seeing him around.
Elsa, our baby Great Dane is most of time time a great pain in the butt. This dog has a great love of people food which is a HUGE problem with a Giant Breed dog! There's no where to keep food from her. Today she ate my spicy tuna rolls off the kitchen counter when I went upstairs to have a phone conversation. She's right this moment looking for the next "snack" she can devour. Maybe she was a mistake...but nonetheless here she is.
Transition. Time. Two words I rarely take a moment to contemplate. They're both all around us, and yet--how often to we give time or transition the respect they deserve?
Monday, May 5, 2008
Tired...lately I've just been tired. And lately, I've been reminded of my age. Now 35 isn't exactly old, but now I get some of the jokes with 80s-90s commentary which the teenagers I work with just look at me like...???whaaa???
Geez Louise. A few weeks ago I went in for the annual GYN visit, which for me isn't so bad b/c my doc is adorable & tooo cute! So everything went by rote until he said, "and this year you'll go for your first mammogram".
Scrrrrr. stop the presses...he said what? mammogram? That's what my mom has, that's what OLD women do. I'm not old enough for that! I'm still young and vivacious, I shouldn't need to do that! Damn. So tomorrow afternoon I'll join the ranks of the old women who have their breasts photographed.
It's not the test itself that bothers me, good grief I've delivered 4 children into this world and if I ever had any modesty, I sure don't have any after all of that! What bothers me is the feeling of being 'old'. Of crossing some invisible line. When did 35 become the great divide? Didn't The Cult of Oprah declare that 50 is the new 40? Half the women I know don't start having kids until their 30s...
So what is it about this particular test that has made me feel so old? Why do I equate this simple set of photographs with age?
Geez Louise. A few weeks ago I went in for the annual GYN visit, which for me isn't so bad b/c my doc is adorable & tooo cute! So everything went by rote until he said, "and this year you'll go for your first mammogram".
Scrrrrr. stop the presses...he said what? mammogram? That's what my mom has, that's what OLD women do. I'm not old enough for that! I'm still young and vivacious, I shouldn't need to do that! Damn. So tomorrow afternoon I'll join the ranks of the old women who have their breasts photographed.
It's not the test itself that bothers me, good grief I've delivered 4 children into this world and if I ever had any modesty, I sure don't have any after all of that! What bothers me is the feeling of being 'old'. Of crossing some invisible line. When did 35 become the great divide? Didn't The Cult of Oprah declare that 50 is the new 40? Half the women I know don't start having kids until their 30s...
So what is it about this particular test that has made me feel so old? Why do I equate this simple set of photographs with age?
Friday, April 4, 2008
where to start
ok, so maybe I was a little crazy to introduce a four legged baby into our crazy mix. Tonight we ran errands, or should I say most of the day we ran errands. Costco, REI, Container store...geez. Steve leaves on a mission trip to Paraguay in less than 2 weeks... my mom is coming to help with the kids or I think I'd slit my wrists.
Really, how does one answer a spouse who says "I want to go on a mission trip to Paraguay." not to mention the insane Yellow Fever outbreak going on there, no shouldn't be a problem, inoculations have always been fail proof right?
Tonight Elsa has really been, forgive the pun, in the dog house. She's alittle nuts and chewing on everything except what she's been given. Even now I hear Steve calling her down in his office, God only know what she's gotten into in there.
Today I had my first bikini laser session. It's not exactly a new sensation since I've been lasering off my underarms for 5 sessions, today being the 6th, but hey, when you dip below the equator, all bets are off! My groin area has definitely been on the warm side all day, and I'm hoping that I will get some action before the night is through--anyway...
Spring break has sprung here in Ga, the cherry trees are awesome and we're headed up to the cabin tomorrow...rain, planning to watch movies all day w/ popcorn & not clean up too much puppy poop.
more on this later...
Really, how does one answer a spouse who says "I want to go on a mission trip to Paraguay." not to mention the insane Yellow Fever outbreak going on there, no shouldn't be a problem, inoculations have always been fail proof right?
Tonight Elsa has really been, forgive the pun, in the dog house. She's alittle nuts and chewing on everything except what she's been given. Even now I hear Steve calling her down in his office, God only know what she's gotten into in there.
Today I had my first bikini laser session. It's not exactly a new sensation since I've been lasering off my underarms for 5 sessions, today being the 6th, but hey, when you dip below the equator, all bets are off! My groin area has definitely been on the warm side all day, and I'm hoping that I will get some action before the night is through--anyway...
Spring break has sprung here in Ga, the cherry trees are awesome and we're headed up to the cabin tomorrow...rain, planning to watch movies all day w/ popcorn & not clean up too much puppy poop.
more on this later...
Monday, March 31, 2008
Elsa
Ok, so what else could a mother of 4 need? Why not a new puppy? And better yet, it was my idea! Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows that I am a dog fanatic. Ok, so not little dogs--and not cats...me hates some cats--but a good sized dog with a bark scary enough to validate me not buying the home security system.
During our first year of marriage, Steve and I had our first baby...a 4-legged Great Dane named Tess. Obviously I forgave Tess all her puppydom because I keep saying, gee I don't remember Tess doing that.
Elsa is a full breed fawn Great Dane. (Think Marmaduke.)She was 7 weeks old when we brought her home from Kentucky. Yes, she's a blue-grass baby. At 8 weeks of age, she's chomping her milk teeth into everything in sight. She's smart as the dickens and a little bit dominant...which will have to be tempered.
So our first Monday together, Steve's out of town, Olivia misses the bus and James Henry is screaming about every little thing. Can I complain, ya I guess so...but it's my own fault. I wanted a dog. So I need to want all the fun that comes with a dog. Poop/pee on the floor, chewed on shoes, and screaming chewed on kids!
During our first year of marriage, Steve and I had our first baby...a 4-legged Great Dane named Tess. Obviously I forgave Tess all her puppydom because I keep saying, gee I don't remember Tess doing that.
Elsa is a full breed fawn Great Dane. (Think Marmaduke.)She was 7 weeks old when we brought her home from Kentucky. Yes, she's a blue-grass baby. At 8 weeks of age, she's chomping her milk teeth into everything in sight. She's smart as the dickens and a little bit dominant...which will have to be tempered.
So our first Monday together, Steve's out of town, Olivia misses the bus and James Henry is screaming about every little thing. Can I complain, ya I guess so...but it's my own fault. I wanted a dog. So I need to want all the fun that comes with a dog. Poop/pee on the floor, chewed on shoes, and screaming chewed on kids!
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