Alright, men and women...two things that are meant to go together--LITERALLY. However! The differences between men and women are astounding.
Women--very competitive with one another, overly concerned with their appearances, detail oriented, group focused, need to be heard, need to feel safe and a need to be loved. (never sure what gals mean by that last one, but ok, loved)
Men--need to be fed, well sexed, and supported. THAT'S IT.
Seriously, the male species is so much easier to understand. For all the bravado...they greatly need to feel that they're doing a good job. They need to know that people believe in them. If they're well fed in mind and body and, let's face it, in the bedroom; the world will always seem right for them.
God bless them. When little boys argue with other little boys, they duke it out until they get tired--then get up and go back to playing with one another. Boys so rarely hold grudges or "never" want to play with so-and-so again.
Little girls on the other hand...they're looking for cues from each other early on as to who they're going to be friends with and who they're not. They are sizing each other's clothes up by 2nd grade! They get into arguments and try to split up friends by who sides with whom.
Think I'm crazy? Look around. If you're a woman, how many times have you felt torn by someone else's argument? Felt that you had to choose "sides". How many times have you let a situation upset your dinner or weekend because you're replaying the situation over and over wanting to figure out how to make it better (or how to find revenge).
Ladies, we could learn a lot from the males in our lives. Team sports have helped little girls, but we must carry through...stop tearing each other down and let's have disagreements without whiplash--without payback--without stress.
We could learn a lot from being well fed, well sexed and supported by those around us.
How different would your life be if those 3 things were the personal priorities in your life? Not the kids' bake sale at school. Not the volunteer activity you felt you HAD to sign up for. Not the neighborhood activity you really didn't want to participate in but felt you'd be talked about if you didn't attend.
Life could be easier if we supported each other ladies. If we met each other right where we each were...and accepted not judged.
Now hear me when I say--I don't think men have all the answers! Far from it. Men struggle in their own ways. But it doesn't hurt to examine how they tend to function vs. how we women do.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
A New Year once again...
2009 is now upon us...which means for me, more birthdays, a high school graduation in May and yet another potential for a move.
For 8 years previous, OK, so let's say 5 years, I've been working on a come and go basis about committing to where I am and being loose enough to move when the man says go. And once again, we sit at the verge of a move with nothing substantial from the company. How many times have I found myself in this place? Without exaggeration, I really do believe at least 6 times.
How does one live day to day in one area whilst trying to be prepared to pack it all up and move to another?
Military families are the super royalty at this type of thing. Some of those kids see 3 different schools in one calendar year! But at the same time, if attending school on base, they're all in the same boat. And somehow I'm betting, when someone says,hey we could really use you in this role...it doesn't take 6-9 months of walking around a situation and reorganizing the company before action is taken. I'm guessing it's far less painful to just get the orders and go. Kinda like pulling off a band aid; better to just do it and not drag it out.
So what do I have to offer as in an interesting anecdote? Nothing. I find nothing about living in limbo amusing. And no, it's not comforting to know that many many others are going through the exact same thing. Frustrating. Exhausting. Anxiety causing.
Maybe worst of all, I really wonder if I won't be living in the same spot saying the exact same thing when 2010 arrives.
For 8 years previous, OK, so let's say 5 years, I've been working on a come and go basis about committing to where I am and being loose enough to move when the man says go. And once again, we sit at the verge of a move with nothing substantial from the company. How many times have I found myself in this place? Without exaggeration, I really do believe at least 6 times.
How does one live day to day in one area whilst trying to be prepared to pack it all up and move to another?
Military families are the super royalty at this type of thing. Some of those kids see 3 different schools in one calendar year! But at the same time, if attending school on base, they're all in the same boat. And somehow I'm betting, when someone says,hey we could really use you in this role...it doesn't take 6-9 months of walking around a situation and reorganizing the company before action is taken. I'm guessing it's far less painful to just get the orders and go. Kinda like pulling off a band aid; better to just do it and not drag it out.
So what do I have to offer as in an interesting anecdote? Nothing. I find nothing about living in limbo amusing. And no, it's not comforting to know that many many others are going through the exact same thing. Frustrating. Exhausting. Anxiety causing.
Maybe worst of all, I really wonder if I won't be living in the same spot saying the exact same thing when 2010 arrives.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Everything's up in the Air
Everything's up in the air...is kind of a strange expression if you really think about it. Nothing stays up in the air...other than clouds...yet we think dealing with unknowns is like being among the clouds--although that seems unfair to the clouds!
My life, ladies and gentlemen, has been resting with the clouds for a month now. Some of that is of my own making and some of that is out of my control. We sit at the cusp of a move. Moving was kind of fun in your 20s when you didn't own very much stuff, called a few friends, rented a truck for the afternoon and made it happen. Moving for me now? Urgh!
This move would be a relocation 1000 miles away. To Austin, TX which I've always considered to be my "home base". A city I adore filled with places I love to go, food I love to eat, and people I enjoy seeing. For me and my husband, it would/will be fantastic. The three munchkins-well that's a whole 'nother enchalada!
I have O in 2nd grade, so that means changing schools after school has started...I have S in a pre-k program which is what kindergarten was for me and I know I won't be able to find that again in Austin...and I have JH who is in a Mothers Morning Out program 3 mornings a week...and finding an opening with something like that is sometimes like asking the mountain to come to Mohammad!
It's interesting to me that as we sit on the edge of one of the most important political votes in US history, I could care less. I know who I will vote for, but am so inwardly focused, I don't seem to care who anyone else votes for!
I'm guessing up in the air means eventually we believe whatever's up there has to obey gravity and come down to earth. There's no way to see how the "cards will fall" (another phrase which calls to mind the air). I'm just hoping they decide to fall soon.
My life, ladies and gentlemen, has been resting with the clouds for a month now. Some of that is of my own making and some of that is out of my control. We sit at the cusp of a move. Moving was kind of fun in your 20s when you didn't own very much stuff, called a few friends, rented a truck for the afternoon and made it happen. Moving for me now? Urgh!
This move would be a relocation 1000 miles away. To Austin, TX which I've always considered to be my "home base". A city I adore filled with places I love to go, food I love to eat, and people I enjoy seeing. For me and my husband, it would/will be fantastic. The three munchkins-well that's a whole 'nother enchalada!
I have O in 2nd grade, so that means changing schools after school has started...I have S in a pre-k program which is what kindergarten was for me and I know I won't be able to find that again in Austin...and I have JH who is in a Mothers Morning Out program 3 mornings a week...and finding an opening with something like that is sometimes like asking the mountain to come to Mohammad!
It's interesting to me that as we sit on the edge of one of the most important political votes in US history, I could care less. I know who I will vote for, but am so inwardly focused, I don't seem to care who anyone else votes for!
I'm guessing up in the air means eventually we believe whatever's up there has to obey gravity and come down to earth. There's no way to see how the "cards will fall" (another phrase which calls to mind the air). I'm just hoping they decide to fall soon.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Motion...
This summer will be one for the ages...I've got too many commitments and too many trips!
The first trip, a Mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, was last week. We took 25 Sr. high teenagers into one of the worst reputed border towns. They built two houses--which by American standards were nothing more than mere garden shacks. The kiddos also led Vacation Bible School for the kids of Colonia 30, which I guess is a neighborhood--or maybe it's more compreable to the 'wards' in large urban areas. Some of us came back wind burned, sun burned, and I've got a questionable rash on my bum! Other than that, no intestinal funk--thank you God--and the food was AWEsome. Yumm yumm. We got home around 5 o'clock Saturday...just in time to pack for the next trip.
Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we leave for San Antonio, Tx. I know, I know, I was just so close being in El Paso--BUT...I had to come home to GA so I could drive my precious darling children 16 hours back. I'll be there at my parents until Sunday when I fly back to the East coast to "chaparone" and Senior trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. This trip I am looking forward to. 10 kids who really are nice kids--not crazy party kids, and all I have to do is help out if insurance is needed. Seriously, I see my sleeping late and reading several books on the beach. The only way it could get better is if Steve could come out for a day or two--but this is his heaviest work time.
The following Saturday I fly back to San Antonio to my parents and my kids! Steve flies out 7/2 and my dad leaves for London 7/3. Steve's family is having a family reunion 7/4 and then Steve's mom's birthday is 7/5! We'll pick up my oldest son Matt on 7/6 at some point and head north to Canton, TX to do 1st Monday trade days. One of the cooooolest flea market/antique/junk stops you've ever seen. Last summer I saw a porch swing which I'm going back to get for my cabin--strapping to the top of my truck? We'll see.
Home to GA around 7/8 or 9 depending on how well we get through our crazy weekend.
Then the fun's just beginning. Olivia has dance company summer camp, my cousin Jordan is flying out for a visit, Matt and I are going on a white water rafting weekend...and then hopefully we'll get a few days of rest in before we slide into the first day of school 8/11.
Summer, we have no summer. We have motion this year. Not that I'm complaining...because we're going to do some really great things. Mexico was a wonderful trip, and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with all of our other plans. I just need a little rest somewhere along the way!!!
: )
The first trip, a Mission trip to Juarez, Mexico, was last week. We took 25 Sr. high teenagers into one of the worst reputed border towns. They built two houses--which by American standards were nothing more than mere garden shacks. The kiddos also led Vacation Bible School for the kids of Colonia 30, which I guess is a neighborhood--or maybe it's more compreable to the 'wards' in large urban areas. Some of us came back wind burned, sun burned, and I've got a questionable rash on my bum! Other than that, no intestinal funk--thank you God--and the food was AWEsome. Yumm yumm. We got home around 5 o'clock Saturday...just in time to pack for the next trip.
Tomorrow morning, Tuesday, we leave for San Antonio, Tx. I know, I know, I was just so close being in El Paso--BUT...I had to come home to GA so I could drive my precious darling children 16 hours back. I'll be there at my parents until Sunday when I fly back to the East coast to "chaparone" and Senior trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. This trip I am looking forward to. 10 kids who really are nice kids--not crazy party kids, and all I have to do is help out if insurance is needed. Seriously, I see my sleeping late and reading several books on the beach. The only way it could get better is if Steve could come out for a day or two--but this is his heaviest work time.
The following Saturday I fly back to San Antonio to my parents and my kids! Steve flies out 7/2 and my dad leaves for London 7/3. Steve's family is having a family reunion 7/4 and then Steve's mom's birthday is 7/5! We'll pick up my oldest son Matt on 7/6 at some point and head north to Canton, TX to do 1st Monday trade days. One of the cooooolest flea market/antique/junk stops you've ever seen. Last summer I saw a porch swing which I'm going back to get for my cabin--strapping to the top of my truck? We'll see.
Home to GA around 7/8 or 9 depending on how well we get through our crazy weekend.
Then the fun's just beginning. Olivia has dance company summer camp, my cousin Jordan is flying out for a visit, Matt and I are going on a white water rafting weekend...and then hopefully we'll get a few days of rest in before we slide into the first day of school 8/11.
Summer, we have no summer. We have motion this year. Not that I'm complaining...because we're going to do some really great things. Mexico was a wonderful trip, and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun with all of our other plans. I just need a little rest somewhere along the way!!!
: )
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A Time of Transition
Here I sit at the beginning of June wondering where May went. Honestly...we've been full steam ahead so long I'm not sure what rest would feel like?!
Transition. I guess its a word I haven't thought about very often. Maybe we're in a constant state of it but too busy to notice. Or possibly, its only in times of extreme change that we truly feel its expression.
My oldest child, Matt is now a Senior in high school. This August he'll turn 18 years old and vote in the upcoming Presidential election. Oh my but the time has flown. My 2nd child, Olivia is now a 2nd grader...and I keep thinking she's still in Kinder garden. My #3 & #4 the pair of wild boys--well they never cease to amaze me with the crazy antics they think up. I am starting to wonder if they really will be the death of me...?
In May, my 'adopted' son Rusty graduated from High School. In a few months he'll be out of here and off to college, which is great! but it's also strange to think I won't see very much of him. He's been such a blessing to me and my family the last few years--I know we're all going to miss seeing him around.
Elsa, our baby Great Dane is most of time time a great pain in the butt. This dog has a great love of people food which is a HUGE problem with a Giant Breed dog! There's no where to keep food from her. Today she ate my spicy tuna rolls off the kitchen counter when I went upstairs to have a phone conversation. She's right this moment looking for the next "snack" she can devour. Maybe she was a mistake...but nonetheless here she is.
Transition. Time. Two words I rarely take a moment to contemplate. They're both all around us, and yet--how often to we give time or transition the respect they deserve?
Transition. I guess its a word I haven't thought about very often. Maybe we're in a constant state of it but too busy to notice. Or possibly, its only in times of extreme change that we truly feel its expression.
My oldest child, Matt is now a Senior in high school. This August he'll turn 18 years old and vote in the upcoming Presidential election. Oh my but the time has flown. My 2nd child, Olivia is now a 2nd grader...and I keep thinking she's still in Kinder garden. My #3 & #4 the pair of wild boys--well they never cease to amaze me with the crazy antics they think up. I am starting to wonder if they really will be the death of me...?
In May, my 'adopted' son Rusty graduated from High School. In a few months he'll be out of here and off to college, which is great! but it's also strange to think I won't see very much of him. He's been such a blessing to me and my family the last few years--I know we're all going to miss seeing him around.
Elsa, our baby Great Dane is most of time time a great pain in the butt. This dog has a great love of people food which is a HUGE problem with a Giant Breed dog! There's no where to keep food from her. Today she ate my spicy tuna rolls off the kitchen counter when I went upstairs to have a phone conversation. She's right this moment looking for the next "snack" she can devour. Maybe she was a mistake...but nonetheless here she is.
Transition. Time. Two words I rarely take a moment to contemplate. They're both all around us, and yet--how often to we give time or transition the respect they deserve?
Monday, May 5, 2008
Tired...lately I've just been tired. And lately, I've been reminded of my age. Now 35 isn't exactly old, but now I get some of the jokes with 80s-90s commentary which the teenagers I work with just look at me like...???whaaa???
Geez Louise. A few weeks ago I went in for the annual GYN visit, which for me isn't so bad b/c my doc is adorable & tooo cute! So everything went by rote until he said, "and this year you'll go for your first mammogram".
Scrrrrr. stop the presses...he said what? mammogram? That's what my mom has, that's what OLD women do. I'm not old enough for that! I'm still young and vivacious, I shouldn't need to do that! Damn. So tomorrow afternoon I'll join the ranks of the old women who have their breasts photographed.
It's not the test itself that bothers me, good grief I've delivered 4 children into this world and if I ever had any modesty, I sure don't have any after all of that! What bothers me is the feeling of being 'old'. Of crossing some invisible line. When did 35 become the great divide? Didn't The Cult of Oprah declare that 50 is the new 40? Half the women I know don't start having kids until their 30s...
So what is it about this particular test that has made me feel so old? Why do I equate this simple set of photographs with age?
Geez Louise. A few weeks ago I went in for the annual GYN visit, which for me isn't so bad b/c my doc is adorable & tooo cute! So everything went by rote until he said, "and this year you'll go for your first mammogram".
Scrrrrr. stop the presses...he said what? mammogram? That's what my mom has, that's what OLD women do. I'm not old enough for that! I'm still young and vivacious, I shouldn't need to do that! Damn. So tomorrow afternoon I'll join the ranks of the old women who have their breasts photographed.
It's not the test itself that bothers me, good grief I've delivered 4 children into this world and if I ever had any modesty, I sure don't have any after all of that! What bothers me is the feeling of being 'old'. Of crossing some invisible line. When did 35 become the great divide? Didn't The Cult of Oprah declare that 50 is the new 40? Half the women I know don't start having kids until their 30s...
So what is it about this particular test that has made me feel so old? Why do I equate this simple set of photographs with age?
Friday, April 4, 2008
where to start
ok, so maybe I was a little crazy to introduce a four legged baby into our crazy mix. Tonight we ran errands, or should I say most of the day we ran errands. Costco, REI, Container store...geez. Steve leaves on a mission trip to Paraguay in less than 2 weeks... my mom is coming to help with the kids or I think I'd slit my wrists.
Really, how does one answer a spouse who says "I want to go on a mission trip to Paraguay." not to mention the insane Yellow Fever outbreak going on there, no shouldn't be a problem, inoculations have always been fail proof right?
Tonight Elsa has really been, forgive the pun, in the dog house. She's alittle nuts and chewing on everything except what she's been given. Even now I hear Steve calling her down in his office, God only know what she's gotten into in there.
Today I had my first bikini laser session. It's not exactly a new sensation since I've been lasering off my underarms for 5 sessions, today being the 6th, but hey, when you dip below the equator, all bets are off! My groin area has definitely been on the warm side all day, and I'm hoping that I will get some action before the night is through--anyway...
Spring break has sprung here in Ga, the cherry trees are awesome and we're headed up to the cabin tomorrow...rain, planning to watch movies all day w/ popcorn & not clean up too much puppy poop.
more on this later...
Really, how does one answer a spouse who says "I want to go on a mission trip to Paraguay." not to mention the insane Yellow Fever outbreak going on there, no shouldn't be a problem, inoculations have always been fail proof right?
Tonight Elsa has really been, forgive the pun, in the dog house. She's alittle nuts and chewing on everything except what she's been given. Even now I hear Steve calling her down in his office, God only know what she's gotten into in there.
Today I had my first bikini laser session. It's not exactly a new sensation since I've been lasering off my underarms for 5 sessions, today being the 6th, but hey, when you dip below the equator, all bets are off! My groin area has definitely been on the warm side all day, and I'm hoping that I will get some action before the night is through--anyway...
Spring break has sprung here in Ga, the cherry trees are awesome and we're headed up to the cabin tomorrow...rain, planning to watch movies all day w/ popcorn & not clean up too much puppy poop.
more on this later...
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