Texas, our Texas...

If I say..."you may all go to Hell, as for me, I will go to Texas" who would know who said it?

I don't know if I want everyone to go to Hell...but I had a GREAT time visiting my home state. Janice was a divine host as always--and meeting a few of her friends was a good time as well.

I ate steak, pizza (I know, that was weird for me too), CHILI, Nordie's cafe, and Tex Mex. Never did get any BBQ...which is a heart breaker, but we were on the go!

Saw my precious Matt...and met some of his friends at UTD. Of course, he didn't warn them that I'm much younger than their moms, so they were completely freaked out at first, but they got over it. Oh well...I hope I never look my own age, much less older than I am right now!

Going back to Texas always brings up old memories. Some great, some embarrassing, and some which will not be named-ever (and to my friends who know where we burried the bodies, better keep that to yourselves!). Letting myself wander around in the past isn't always a good idea--and wondering where things could go from here isn't helping.

What is it about our personal histories? Is it the happiness that we remember most? Is it the heartaches? Do we hold on to what we need to remember to keep from making the same mistakes again? Or is it that we try really hard to forget the past because some of it hurts too much? Should the past always be just that--past. I know that my history is what defines me. It's why I'm not a push over, why I never settle for 2nd best, and why I never let a man believe he's completely in charge. No regrets for what I've done...just some questions about things I might have done differently. I know how the saying goes, "hind sight is 20/20". But for me, rarely has any decision truly felt a clear 20/20. I guess that's because I really like to have my cake and eat it too. The past makes me remember being a girl...but I know she's not the woman I am today. And I like her, the wild woman in heels, a whole lot better.

So for me, is it finally time to buy my piece of the promised land? Should I look for where I plan to settle and start the commitment? City or Country? Hill Country or right back to the Brazos River Bottom I called home? I've always said CJ-7 and 25 acres sounded like just the ticket...but who knows. What I see in my dream is a dirt road, horses, limestone house, and quiet. Thank God you can still find that in TEXAS.

I have lived in Georgia...and Maryland...but today...



Today I have Texas on my mind...


(And by the way, Davy Crockett said the above quote--just in case y'all didn't know!)